Committed Non-conformist

This is a picture of the calm before the storm....

This morning I awoke to my sweet two year old who was tossing and turning sleeping next to me after my husband put her in our bed before he left for work because she was crying around 6 am.  Then I heard her talking in her sleep, I leaned in close to hear what she was saying.  She was softly murmuring over and over again "No, I don't want to!" I couldn't help but smile, she was expressing her stubborn two-year old will even in her sleep.  After awaking this morning she went on to have a really rough day, crying pretty much all day, she seemed constantly frustrated, had many tantrums, wanted to be held almost constantly and I couldn't help but think back to what she had been uttering in her sleep. See a two-year olds world is pretty upsetting sometimes (I know what your thinking, I would kill to be loved and played with constantly get a nap AND get to go to bed early every day) but think about it for a second, EV-ER-Y-Thing in their whole world is out of their control.  They are constantly being told what to do, how to do it, what to eat, etc. I don't blame them for raising their fists and shouting loud to the world (or softly in their sleep) "No, I don't want to!"

Here is a picture of my oldest when she was almost two having a little tantrum, note the tight fists and scrunched forehead and yet she managed to hang on to her binkie!  And yes she is laying in the middle of the sidewalk when we were walking by the Marina in Saugatauk, awesome, love it when they do that!

Then I was thinking of my own stubborn nature.  Oh how I have fought this battle time and time again and always seem to lose. I have had a few good weeks and I am feeling off to a good start and under control and then I see an Easter basket or a piping hot pizza or a chocolate cake in the break room at work and I know that I can no longer take however much I want without caring about the nutritional content.  I honestly get tired sometimes of being one of the people in this world that has to care and really honestly when the initial excitement wears off (like right about now) I just want to dig in my heels, ball up my fists, throw my head back while kicking and pounding and scream "No!! I don't want to!" (see picture above, although it would be a lot less cute if I did it!) It's not that I don't want to lose weight and be healthy with all my heart but I just have stubborn streak that doesn't want to be told what to do or how to live. I know how those two-year-olds feel.

But then I thought about why we direct the path of our little toddlers, we steer their course because as their parents we love them, we know where the dangers are, we know what is best for them and have wisdom and experience to bring and perspective that they don't have.  So since most of us aren't still living with our parents who do we have to do that for us once we are adults because we still need that help (more than we are willing to admit!) Who better than someone who sees all, knows all and loves us unconditionally and infinitely more than we can ever think or imagine.  Our Heavenly Father tells us that we should "not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2.  The pattern of this world is to indulge your every desire, to do whatever feels good, whatever and whenever you want; that is sin.  But our mind can be renewed!!! Our will can be transformed!!! We can become committed non-conformists.  And then we find out what God's will is, how great is that? I would much rather be following His will then my own misguided sense of direction, for His will is perfect! The last two weeks have been hard.  I have been staying in the confines of my path of eating healthier and following the Weight Watchers plan, I have meticulously counted every crumb that went in my mouth but all the while I have been building up to a tantrum. But today I felt so much compassion for my sweet little one and how frustrated she was and God opened my eyes and taught me that he is trying to help me just as I help my kids.   And now I have peace, looking at this verse with fresh eyes gave me a whole new vision.  I can rest in His will and not worry about myself.  So I dragged my butt to the grocery store tonight and I am very excited about some of the recipes we have to come soon my friends, I am a newly committed non-conformist! I am going to keep on, keeping on! Thanks for all the love. Invite your friends to join my page, the support is a big encouragement and form of accountability!