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Monday, August 15, 2016

Reboot, Part 1



Everyone needs someone in their family who understands technology, someone to call when you get that blue screen of death and can talk you down off the ledge when you are sure your computer is dying. My brother in law is my person.  Years ago I would call him and it would go something like this: “Hey so my computer is frozen and making a dying cat sound. Is that bad?” or “Hey so the picture on my monitor is upside down, is that bad?” or “Hey my computer flashed a purple light three times and now all the words are in Chinese, is that bad?” His response was always one simple question, “Did you reboot?” Doh! It took me awhile to realize, gotta try rebooting before I panic-dial my bro computer-911. Reboot is magical, it completely somehow restores everything and makes the world back to the way it should be! Love me some reboot. 

 
Olympics are in full swing and our house has nothing but love for MP.  I recently saw a story circulating discussing how after the height of his glory following the London Olympics when Michael got busted several times for DUI’s mentally and emotionally he was at an all-time low.  And feeling like he wasn’t worth anything he contemplated suicide. We have a huge tendency in this country to put our athletes on pedestals and honestly who deserved to be idealized more than the most decorated Olympian of all time. But feeling as though his mistakes outshine all his accomplishments he wanted to end his life.  A good friend of his gave him a shoulder to lean on, picked him up and drove his butt to rehab and when he dropped him off; he gave him a copy of this:


For the first time in his life Michael felt that he had purpose. Again it’s amazing to think someone as talented, disciplined, and accomplished as he is did not feel as though he had purpose.  He made major changes in his life and here he is winning more medals in Rio! He came back with purpose.  He underwent a major reboot. 



In 2011 I was attempting a major reboot in my physical health but the changes I made didn’t last.  As much as I worked on my physical transformation that year I did not work on my mental transformation nearly enough.  When challenges arose, I crumbled and gained the weight all back.  During that year I remember vividly feeling unsatisfied deep in my soul with where my life was.  Ever feel like your bogged down in your roles as a wife and mom and that the sum total of your contribution to society feels like wiping noses, bottoms and kitchen counters? Even in my career which has purpose of helping others you often feel as though everyone is cranky and unappreciative (because really people in pain are rightfully cranky) and the greater good ends up feeling a lot…lesser.  I jotted down a job description at the time, for what I wanted to do.  Then I literally tried imagining a real job out there that fit the description.  Then I actually looked for it.  I started with my large employer thinking well maybe they had a better place for me that I could transfer to and even went as far as to inquire online about a position open with the YMCA. The Y never replied, the tide of life and all my demands swept me out to sea and I continued on much in the state I was in, feeling relatively purposeless for several more years.  

Rick Warren actually says in his book, “Trusting God completely means having faith that He knows what is best for your life. You expect Him to keep His promises, help you with problems, and do the impossible when necessary.”  I wish I had read that then, I wish I had trusted him more, I wish I hadn’t pushed those hopes and dreams down for so long, but I did. Stay tuned for more about what happened next....




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